Last week I went out for a run after work on Friday night. I was supposed to go out for 9 miles but I ended up with only 7 miles. Anyway, that not where this story is going.
When I was out for my run, which was the first run in a week due to a busy schedule and a cold, I felt good, but I was trying to beat a cold. I started thinking about running in the cold and how this could be how the half marathon goes. It could be cold and windy. It could be tough.
Then I started getting scared. I’m scared because my heart has not been 100% into my training. Because I have started playing volleyball three times a week again. Now for the last two weeks I have been sick and my training has been lacking. Last week I did 7 miles Friday night, 5 on Saturday morning and 3 Sunday evening. That it for the last week. I’m scared.
I ran 6 half marathons before. This year alone I have ran the two best times ever.
I am so scared that I won’t be able to do my best again. I’m scared that I’ll move backwards. I’m scared that I won’t PR again.
The last two days I am still sick and have felt worse than I have in the last two weeks. Now I am out of town for a few days for my aunt’s funeral so high mileage training is sort of out. There is a gym in our hotel so I’m going to try for a few treadmill miles in the am, until I can’t breathe anymore.
When I signed up for this race I didn’t really want to do it. I didn’t want to do a third half marathon this year. My run club peeps talked me into it and so I signed up. I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep up with Linda (this is her first half and she wanted me to run it with her). I’m scared that I’ll let her down. I’m scared that I’ll let myself down. I’m scared that I won’t be able to do as well as I have done earlier this year.
I have two weeks…