It has just been one of those days. One of those days that from the time I opened my eyes in the morning, has been distracted, drama filled, and just emotionally exhausting. I won’t go into everything that has put me into such a crying my desk/emotionally exhausted/barely got two things done at work today/can’t concentrate on anything at all kind of a mood. But here I am in a funk and really truly pissed off as just about everything including myself for being so worked up.
Today was a day where it seemed that everyone I encountered needed or wanted something from me. Some of which is expected i.e. @ work. But then comes my extra curricular activies, which I had hoped I put to rest with a few emails earl-ish in the morning. But then it continued to consume me. I got so angry. Then that fed into other rage filled topics that I try to keep compartmentalized (to avoid this), but they all added to the pot that was my head today and boiled over, pretty much all day.
So that was me today, drama in the morning before/right when I got to work (I am really a no drama person, I lead a very boring life, promise). I thought my head was going to blow. There were a few tears. Quit wanting things from me, people. ok!? ok.
My head jumped from the original focus of the morning (not work) to a family vacation we have planned, that I am VERY anxious about due to a volatile relationship I have with a family member (I have to spend a week in a house with this person). Crap the last time I spent part of a week in a hotel with this person I had a total breakdown (it was epically horrific). Crap how am I going to help pay for this vacation with the fam, I have no money, my second job cut ALL of my hours for the month of Feb, and my roommate is moving out in a week, so I owe her back a security deposit. Crap I probably shouldn’t start trying to pay for personal training right now, since I have no dollars. Crap I probably should not go up to Duluth for the Grandma’s half marathon in June so that I can save that money. Oh crap, how am I going to get my self to run or work out if I don’t have a trainer OR at least something to train for?! CRAP
It got me. It all got me so worked up. And why? I don’t know.
How do you not let one thing feed into another, and another, and another until you are nothing more than a blob in the corner?
How do you compartmentalize? I suck at it, today anyway.
Amy Runs The Lakes 