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It has just been one of those days.  One of those days that from the time I opened my eyes in the morning, has been distracted, drama filled, and just emotionally exhausting.  I won’t go into everything that has put me into such a crying my desk/emotionally exhausted/barely got two things done at work today/can’t concentrate on anything at all kind of a mood.  But here I am in a funk and really truly pissed off as just about everything including myself for being so worked up.

Today was a day where it seemed that everyone I encountered needed or wanted something from me.  Some of which is expected i.e. @ work.  But then comes my extra curricular activies, which I had hoped I put to rest with a few emails earl-ish in the morning.  But then it continued to consume me.  I got so angry.  Then that fed into other rage filled topics that I try to keep compartmentalized (to avoid this), but they all added to the pot that was my head today and boiled over, pretty much all day. 

boiling_up_life

So that was me today, drama in the morning before/right when I got to work (I am really a no drama person, I lead a very boring life, promise).  I thought my head was going to blow.  There were a few tears. Quit wanting things from me, people. ok!? ok.

My head jumped from the original focus of the morning (not work) to a family vacation we have planned, that I am VERY anxious about due to a volatile relationship I have with a family member (I have to spend a week in a house with this person).  Crap the last time I spent part of a week in a hotel with this person I had a total breakdown (it was epically horrific).  Crap how am I going to help pay for this vacation with the fam, I have no money, my second job cut ALL of my hours for the month of Feb, and my roommate is moving out in a week, so I owe her back a security deposit.  Crap I probably shouldn’t start trying to pay for personal training right now, since I have no dollars.  Crap I probably should not go up to Duluth for the Grandma’s half marathon in June so that I can save that money.  Oh crap, how am I going to get my self to run or work out if I don’t have a trainer OR at least something to train for?!  CRAP

It got me.  It all got me so worked up.  And why?  I don’t know.

How do you not let one thing feed into another, and another, and another until you are nothing more than a blob in the corner?

How do you compartmentalize?  I suck at it, today anyway.

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